You’re going to die.

In case you were unaware lol

Then one day you wake up and realize you’ve got a million addictions that got you into this shit show…then it’s a sad day when you can’t get drunk no mo or smoke no mo or eat processed foods or sugar or nothing fake (I’ll pause and take a deep breath). You’ve got to work double hard not to lose your muscular system. It’s hard fuckin’ work, but you hope to not be like every other old person with a million doctor’s appointments every month, taking tons of pills that over time cause cancer and shut down your bodily functions…

And you better add a chiropractor because your spine is compressing, which means your brain isn’t receiving the information it needs to keep all systems on “go.”

I’m writing to help “laugh at myself” because basically I’m dying. Yep…we all are.

Get used to that thought my friends, because if the thought of death scares you, you’ll waste your life.

I’m looking forward to what’s next on the other side of this deal we call human life. Sadly, unless I get hit with a piece of shrapnel, I’ve got more time here because I did all that stuff I said above. I even get my teeth cleaned four times a year. Lol.

Why am I motivated to do all this? No idea. God has a plan for me.


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